Hopelessly Inappropriate

Adult Erotica & Love Letters


October 2017

as it slips into my kiss…

I recall your tip

again and again…

experiencing it

as I lick your

thick stick…

I come to your tip

upon my lips

and I kiss it

before enveloping

the taut, smooth skin

over my favorite bone…

I swallow dick down

my open throat

as you moan

your length in me

allowing your tip

down, down slip…

until your base

my lips hit

with my wet lips

then back up

you feel my tip-kiss

and slide you in

over my tongue

again and again…

I keep the rhythm

until panting

that sound I love

you pinch my tit

and I swallow your dick

as you spritz my throat

with a soothing coat

of your passionate sludge

rewarding me

for my dedication

to your satisfaction!

I can’t help but recall

in the slow days of fall

how much I love

your hot thick dick tip

as it slips into my kiss…



How Mental Are You During Sex?

Is it cheating if you picture someone else during sex? I’d really like to know what other people think. My experience with long-term sexual relationships is short: my husband. If a woman’s orgasm is mental, isn’t it just a means to an end? I had to investigate the orgasm problem my other women friends also often commented to me about. (I attached an interesting article about entitled “Facts about the female Orgasm” from Everyday Health;)

When I first married, I was pregnant. So, for about three years of my marriage, my husband and I rarely connected, especially in the bedroom. When we did, in order to finish for him, I had to imagine my favorite cock in my head. I would feel guilty afterwards, like I’d kinda cheated.

Over time I became angry at the fact that I couldn’t orgasm for my husband without bringing another man into our bed. I had the grand idea of blogging naughty thoughts and then taking them into bedroom with my husband. We began to explore different positions, and I enjoyed pleasing him more, to the point that now he knows how to really get me in the end so that I actually cum from him!

I guess I still feel that whatever gets you off is better than not being able to release your pent-up frustrations;) I don’t know. You tell me!

Too Big Buddy (erotic humor)

When I worked full time as an English teacher in Yuma, I stopped going out. I would read, grade, plan, or work out. I didn’t date, but Marines, Army, and Navy men were everywhere. Unexpectedly, as I wheeled groceries in one Saturday night, hot bodies surrounded me in no shirts and tight jeans, glistening against the Arizona sky painted orange and red over the cactus tips and brown mountain tops.

One dark-skinned man, with beautifully sculpted arms, took the groceries bag handles from my mouth, pulling the weight from my lap, “Here, let me help you. Guys get the rest of her bags from the trunk!” He ordered his group of friends, who like he was their commander, all jumped to my assistance. The train of men followed me into my door and placed my groceries upon the table.

With a gush of honest appreciation (I had at least ten trips of bags for me to carry!), I belted out like a teacher above boy’s talking, “Thank you all so much! Can I offer you a beer before you go for your trouble?”

“The guys call me Big Bud, but Buddy is fine. And what’s your name lovely lady?”

“I’m Kelley…”

“Hey, Bug Bud, we’re gonna head to Tracey’s then hit Pop A Top. Later!” And the group of men left me alone with Buddy.

“What a group!” I chuckle.

“You wanna go out with us?”

“No thanks. I’ve got tons of work and sleep to do tonight, but thanks!”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a high school English teacher.”

“Damn! I woulda done better in English if I had you to look at as my teacher!”

“The kids are fun, grading essays is NOT.” I laugh awkwardly.

“I’m gonna head out, but could I stop back by later and say hi?”

His sweet earnestness was irresistible, “Um, sure.” I said to this guy I’d never met before…

A playful knock at my door came around 3:30 after the bars had closed. A crew of merry Marines could be heard serenading me with, “Who let the dogs out?” And barking like wolves.

By the time I had gotten myself into my wheelchair, tossing a nightgown over my head, most of the revelry had walked away…except Buddy.

“Hello, beautiful! Can I come in?”

I stared, still a bit blurry-eyed, “Honestly, Buddy…” His brown sober eyes send a furrowed brow plea, “I’m just sleeping.”

“That’s ok. I’m tired too, and it’s so loud at my friend’s I can’t sleep.”

“Um…” Beneath a tight tank, his bulging chest muscles bounced in anticipation of my answer. I figured, What’s the harm? Hot men don’t come round your bed too often.

“I’ll just lay with you until you fall asleep…” He begged a little like a dark and deep Prince Charming.

“Ok.” And I led Buddy to my bed. He squished my tiny pillow at the head of my single bed. As he stared at my chair-to-bed transfer on the other side, I looked again at this well-built man I didn’t know. His bald head shined like a halo in the light of my lava lamp. I think, I can’t believe I’m this desperate to be kissed and touched! You know what’s going to happen…

With me on my back, and him on his side, we snuggled and he spoke softly in my ear, “The girls I hang with so different from you. I couldn’t stop wondering tonight what kissing your pouty lips would be like. I couldn’t get your smile out of my mind.”

Buddy traced my thick bottom lip with his thumb, inserting his finger in my mouth, which disarmed, I sucked. He asked, as he leans in to kiss me, “I have something you might want to play with.” Then, he led my hand to the HUGE bulge of fully erect penis beneath his sweat pants.

I had had big, but this cock was thicker and longer than my forearm! Intrigued, I had to pull it out, despite the fact I was terrified of giving in to such a monstrous cock.

I didn’t want to try to fit it in my mouth, knowing my jaw would lock up. I wondered as I kissed him back, all the while my hand shaped like C jacking him off, Would I ruin my pussy if I let him stick that obtuse thing in? Would he stretch me to a larger hole that will leave me pleasure-less forever after?

“Are you as excited as I am..” He said, obviously used to getting his way.

I re-covered his huge tool, and sweetly explained, “Honestly, this is just too distracting. I really need to get some sleep. I’m working with some students early in the morning. Sorry, but can you do me a favor and lock my door on your way out.”

Kissing me one last time and pushing my hand back down, I sat back and said, “Um, yes. I just don’t feel right, so I’d like to turn in for the night.”

“Ok.” Buddy pouted, while getting up. “I hope to run into you again sometime.” And he walked out my door. I immediately got up to see if the door was locked.

He had followed my directions and made me safe. He truly was a nice guy, however, I could not find the courage to explore his massive cock!

A Teeny Weeny (Erotic Humor)

I had an extra ticket to see my favorite band live. I needed a date fast! In my World Lit. class a cute boy, who was quiet but sweet, sat next to me.

“Hey, Tim, do you listen to Rusted Root?”


“Um, well, I have an extra ticket to see them tonight…would you wanna go?”

Staring at me, mouth wide, “I…um…ummm…sure.”

At the end of class, he gave me his address and I rolled away with a laugh, thinking, We may have nothing in common but books, but he’s adorably blonde curly-haired cute! He’s so thin though, I think I’d break him like a twig if I were on top of him!

Tim handed me a red rose as he got in my car. For the first time in my college dating career, a boy came with a flower! I blushed as I sniffed its petal-tip, inhaling the anticipation of a new experience! I looked forward to the long drive to get to know my companion for the night.

That was until…I couldn’t get a conversation to save my life!

He was a country music lover, the kind of music I loathed at the time, so I turned my jam bands off, putting on Classical because it was all I could think of. When the silent drive came to an end, I pushed into the concert excited anyway! Who doesn’t love a live band?

I didn’t know if he sat down the whole time to make me feel comfortable or if he couldn’t dance, but I went into my own world swaying and singing to my favorite band.

Now, I’ll jump to the end…

We pulled in my driveway, me dazed and forgetting to drive Tim home, and I felt obliged to ask, “Would you like to have a drink and relax?”

With Tim’s one word answers another weak, “Sure.”

I thought to myself, He’s sweet and cute…how bad could it be? Unfortunately back then, I didn’t own a TV!

Small talk was a bust, so I slammed my drink and took my bra off. I gave his thin lips a peck, and he turned into a ravenous animal on the attack! In our kiss, his short tongue poked mine, like a snake’s hiss, but it made me ultra-curious! What does he have as a penis?

I guided his lips to my tit, as his pants I unzipped, searching through tidy-whities for his dick. I had to take those off too, trying not to seem lost as I do!

His whole body froze as I touched it, and he let out a moan and a gasp as he came on my hand! I was happy it ended so very quick! I had NEVER before or since come across such a Tiny Tim dick! Poor guy wasn’t as big as my pinky finger! I still feel bad for that kid!!!


What’s the perfect penis?

My best friend is a man. (Surprise!) He, of course, is gorgeous! You know, tall, dark and strikingly handsome. If I didn’t know him and passed him on the street, I’d have my auto-response thought and picture the size of his cock. I’d ponder:

“He’s tall, but muscular, so I’d say medium length, but wide enough to tease-pop my mouth and pussy with great strength. I could have fun with that man and his hot ‘n’ coy face!”

The point to this story is that he asked me once: Does size matter?

I can think of two times that it did, and those men did NOT have a perfect cock like his. (I hope you enjoy the stories I will post of these experiences.)

But, for now, I wonder what you think: What’s the perfect cock? Does size determine the amount of pleasure in a man’s ride?

To your own self be true! What really rocks for you?

a part of me wants a piece of you

I have a valley of ache–

a place you’ve not been,

at least not as of late–

where I want you to lay

a piece of you pressing

in to that part of me,

mating hunger with thirst

in our blessed curse

of sexual pleasure

between two people

who will never meet,

except here, on a screen.

I crave your beat in me!

I crave a beat in me!

For now, I’ll forgo the blues.

Maybe a soft melody?


I need some Jazz,

and a tall man to play me

like his up-right bass,

with frisky fingers

playing pleasure notes!


I’d succumb to your rhythm,

as you bend me over

to bang on my ass like a drum.


How I crave your beat in me!




Oh, the things we could do…(erotic humor)

Oh, the things

we could do

to make each

other sing…

I wish I could

tie you down.

I’d use a feather,

tickling secret spots,

then I’d use

some ice to

blow and lick

the tickles off.

You’d get your turn

to tease me too!

I’d let you spank me

for being too dirty,

then you’d soothe me

with some cream,

as you slide into me.

How about we try

a sex swing?

You teach me

how to fly!

you soak me panting

You, my love, and me,

at sunset on a sandy beach,

sit holding hands silently.


As foam bubbles tickle our feet,

we listen to water brush land.

In the sand, worries buried deep.


You roll upon me, softly sighing,

your center between my knees,

spread like butterfly-wings flying…


You begin to push passionate waves,

filling me with your steamy love,

me holding back…my burst, I save…


With your hands bracing my hips,

I hear your heavy breathing change,

and you soak my panting pussy lips.


We then watch the fluffy clouds fly,

laughing at the characters in the sky,

allowing time to aimlessly slip by.



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